Losing patience with life…

Nearly smashed a guy to death tonight, I have claw marks on my wrists from having to restrain to myself.
I have never felt such hopeless rage before! And now that’s its subsided all I feel is hopeless despair!
I cant believe someone has reduced me to such a horrible state, but I know it’s just not one person, they just happened to be the last straw; I’m cracking I can feel it! It’s as if I’m on a tightrope balancing between suicide and murder! Call me dramatic but I feel so high-strung I really don’t know what I might do!
London’s killing me, and I don’t know what I’ve done that’s so bad that I have to keep on being punished, being perused by the filth and scum of the populace!
I can’t go out without my life personally being affected by some disrespectful poor excuse for a human being! Whether they are breaking common law, or just social law, they keep on interfering with my everyday activities: I cant go clubbing, I cant go to a gig, I cant even travel to or from work without witnessing or being caught up in the filth of the humanity! It seems to follow me.
Every time I go out to have a fun to, to just relax someone comes along and destroys it, all I see is the dirty, the bad, the filth, the complete lack of respect for this world, society and people in general.
I’m so fucking sick of it! I rather just not go out then risk a night being needlessly wrecked.
I know it shouldn’t bother me, and I should just ignore them and enjoy my night, but I cant, I cant just pretend this world is some lovely place any more, I’ve seen too much to contradict the view!
It’s beyond me to why people are so sick, why people just don’t care anymore.
It’s simple things, small things to follow; like don’t smoke on a underground or bus, don’t unnecessarily trip someone over as they headbang to a band because you want to be the one standing behind your girlfriend [who had shamelessly pushed her way to that spot in the first place!]
Don’t yell at a band on stage to “hurry up” just because you didn’t come to see them! Don’t cut ques because you came late.
Or in my case of work, customer just dumping items they don’t want anywhere and then having a go at me because I cant find a film for them that someone else has most likely thrown somewhere instead of just handing it into the till!
I could go on but I’ll stop at just the things I’ve seen the last couple of days. It’s unbelievable little petty things, stupid thing, and yet so many people are walking around expecting you to treat them right when they go and shit all over your rights!
London is becoming unliveable! Just look at the stupidity of the riots!
I really can’t deal with it anymore, I use to turn away, but it’s happening too much for me not to take notice and offence!
I don’t know what to do, I feel like I can’t do anything!
These people are sick, and it’s only getting worse, I don’t blame the older generations for looking down on us, they one day have to hand over the running of the world to us, and it’s not like we have a good track record of showing we actually deserve this place!
I’m ranting in circles, I cant express, I cant even comprehend what this world has become, I’ve finally lost faith in a world I loved so much, and I don’t know how to get my world back!
-Breathes out- I don’t know what else to say, So Sleep? What is it they say? Tomorrow is always another day…