Monday, December 30, 2013

2013 - A Reflection.


I feel like I've lived multiple lives this year, Like i look back and i cant believe it was only in Feb that i was in Dublin with friends for Redemption fest.
Or in May i was sharing a bed with one of the most amazing people i have ever met.
Or in July i lost one of my closest friends who i thought would never walk out on me...And i lost said amazing man...and my laptop died taking all my writings with it. Not a good month.
Or in September i was about to kill myself while in Stockholm.

The year started with stress as my work went into administration and i had to move house. Next year is looking like a repeat as i have to again move house [this time being worse as all my house mates have already found other places and I'm searching on my own]. And my company is shutting more stores next year....
This year has just been so up and down, I've generally pretty much felt down this entire year, I've never suffered this constant crushing feeling for such a long period of time!
I've drifted away from a lot of friends i use to consider close, and I've made some new awesome ones.
I guess i experienced my 'first love & first heartbreak' yet it didn't inspire me at all to write, which was more salt to a wound then anything else!
My plans for Uni again seem unattainable thanks to my financial/living situation - But i am determine to at least do online courses.



But i'm trying to focus on the positives
- PrimordialMael Mórdha in Dublin!
- Seeing PAIN in Cardiff in, His best gig, one of my fave gigs of all time.
- Inferno Festival in Oslo. I always enjoy, and this year had some killer sets from Satyricon, Taake, Hate, Behexen to name a few.
- Finntroll in Berlin [best i've seen them yet] juts being in Berlin! i have fallen in love with that city!
- Aesthetic Perfection in London. It was a very over due dance i really needed!
- Hypocrisy in Riga. and managing to get the setlist!
- Leprous & Vulture Industries in Stockholm

Arctic Monkeys album A.M. I never liked their older stuff but have fallen in love with this one!
- Gorecki's Symphony No.3 I only discovered it this year. never has a piece of music hit me so much! It makes a depressed mood feel beautiful! saved me from the abyss more times this year then i'd like to admit.
- Leucosis Self titled, i only discoverd this the start of December and loved it first listen! Just the kind of music i'd been searching for!
Noteable mentions; Wardruna [They can't do wrong]. Finntroll. Carcass [Was never really a fan before but have been won over] Satyricon [I'm bias i love everything they do] Hypocrisy [Again i'm bias, but another top album form them]

- The Vikings  TV series, maybe because i'm Viking obsessed? but i thought i was brilliant!
- The Hobbit I only saw the first one this year, and althougb i prefer LOTRs I loved the Hobbit and can not wait to see the next! and third!!

- Ken Follett. I only discovered his books this year. and have fallen in love. He captures the human soul so beautifully! He is in a league of his own!
- Jo Nesbo. Maybe because i am obsessed with Norway? But his stories are extremely engrossing and his perception of humans is so similar to mine!

This was the first year [since turning 18] That i havnt gotten a new tattoo... but i guess i did visit 6 other countries and see Peter Tägtgren 4 times on stage and Satyricon twice!

Unless i can change my mentality, i honestly dont know how i am going to get through next year.
But i'm setting myself goals., the usual i guess - Be more healthy, do more exercise. Do online courses, Get more focused on learning Norwegian. Focus my creativity so i can try and turn it into tangiable sentences.
Learn to Meditate so i can try and control stress and negativity.
I need to accept my life is not going to go down the path i want it to and i need to find a new path.

I want a positive year... so on that note i will not be starting 2014 until February! when i've moved into a new house [when i find a new house]  lol.
NYE PARTY AT THE UNICORN! LIVE METAL! NO BETTER WAY TO JOIN THE PASSING OF ONE YEAR TO THE NEXT!!

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